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:icondavidyardin:
Stylistically I like your page. I also like your layout, it has a good flow, and leads the eye nicely through the page. My main problem with your page though, is that it is hard to follow who is who; there is no immediate visual recognition of the characters in each panel for a number of reasons.

Firstly you have grey rendering on the man in panel one, but none on the woman, but then in panel two you do the exact opposite. This confuses the reader, especially since you also dramatically change the angle the characters are viewed from.

Also because you only show the woman's back in panel three, and because her hair is now tied back, this further confuses her identity.

The lack of backgrounds throughout the page, while aesthetically pleasing, obviously hinders you being able to further establish who is who in each panel.

I would suggest toning the figures consistently throughout the page, and in panel three either have the woman tying back her hair, or have hair the same as in the other panels. Maybe also zoom out a bit in panel three, and show a bit more background in that panel. I'm not sure what you have established background-wise in the preceeding pages, but if you can tie it back to something you've already established, that would work a lot better in terms of your storytelling.
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:iconjonathanwyke:
JonathanWyke Featured By Owner May 31, 2011   General Artist
Firstly, thanks for taking the time to critique this page - I really appreciate it.

The shifting tones was an experiment that, when looking at it now, I don't think has worked. The idea was to shift the toning to show the shift in story focus. We've gone from following the male lead, to following them both, to following her. I think you're right in that it just confuses the issue.

You're right too about her tying her hair back. I kept chopping out stages in my mind to speed up her departure, but have obviously cut too many. Hopefully I can bear that in mind for future pages - heck, and re-do this one whilst I'm at it :)

Thanks again for the thoughtful feedback.
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:icondavidyardin:
davidyardin Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2011  Professional
No problems man. Glad it was helpful.
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